Root's Words of Wisdom: Women

What I've learned over the years: 

1. When asked how they look, do not say "heifer?". 
2. When they say "fine", it is in fact not fine.
3. Do not get caught looking at another woman, and never say she (other woman) is hott. Key word? "Caught"
   
4. You may be bring in the money, but you aren't the one who will be spending it.
5. What is "ours" is actually "hers"
6. Compromise by definition is giving and taking. In the context of women, it's all giving.
7. Being spontaneously romantic is great, just don't waste it all in the beginning. 
8. Her friends and/or family are more important than you.
   
9. "Forget" to do the laundry enough times, and you can get her to do it every time.
10. Don't expect to be doing the "salty tango" four times a week after 2-5 months of dating.... unless she is your mistress.
    
11. If you have a mistress and/or are cheating, invest in life insurance and make me your beneficiary.
12. What ever the situation is, in any argument, you are wrong. You loose by default, she has ta-ta's and your man boobs don't count.
    
13. When you first meet her, know that all women are all liars (they wear makeup, high heels, shave, etc). So don't be surprised that the woman you like now won't be the same 1-2 months from now.
    
14. Move in together and try it out for a few months before you pop the question.
    
15. "I'm sorry", "I love you" and "Yes Dear" will be the three phrases that you'll need to survive.
    

Feel free to add your own, or to tell me I'm wrong *grin*

Until next time users, 

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