I'm sure you've all heard about the stereotypical county fair. A week-long gathering of overweight inbreds with the purpose of celebrating the community's achievements and prospects. Where all the food is deep fried, even the ice cream, and flavored ice is a foreign delicacy. The smell of fecal matter hangs in the air, and there's a very real chance that getting on one of the rides may be the last thing you ever do.
My county's fair exemplifies this stereotype with an exactness known only to those who have spent their life calculating pi to the thousandth decimal place. And I love it.
Firstly, I'd like to state that I can, with honesty, discount myself from the incestual pool. If you look up my last name in the area phone book, you will find three entries - my father, my mother, and my father's parents. As I'm an only child, I suppose it's up to me to spread our genetic makeup among the peons. In addition, at 22 years of age and a lean 135 lbs, I'm far from overweight.
Now, don't misunderstand me by thinking that I consider myself above the average fair-goer. The previous paragraph is stated simply for the purpose of illustrating that I am able to observe the fair from a, shall we say, sophisticated perspective. Again, I'm not calling myself a sophisticate - aristocratic would be about as inaccurate a description of myself that anyone could muster. I am, however, intelligent (to say the least), and there are certain... Occurences... At the fair, which, though I consider beneath me, I find endlessly entertaining.
For instance, the food. Yes, each bite of whatever greasy goodness you decide to engorge upon probably weighs in at about 100 calories or so, but let me be the first to say that there's nothing like a powdered sugar and chocolate syrup covered funnel cake to set the world right.
The rides. Sure, you accept an admittable amount of danger by getting on them, but that makes the thrill all the more real! What terrorizes you more - a 300 foot drop from a perfectly smooth, clean-record, big theme park attraction which has triple protection restraints, or being thrown through the air 50 feet up on some contraption that was constructed in mere hours, squeals and groans with every motion, and has only a lap bar to keep you in?
The events. As our group of friends was walking past one of the fair buildings, the loudspeaker was broadcasting that the pig wrestling match was about to begin. There was a monetary fee to watch, which none of us felt was worth the experience, but the announcer commentated during the event. At one point, the dialog went something like, "Oh, don't worry about that - we'll get him another pig and start the match over." I can only imagine what must have happened...
And of course, the people. The particular day we decided to visit the fair, they were holding a demolition derby. Nowhere else could a crowd of such magnitude be so motivated by a show of already totalled cars bashing the remaining mechanical life out of each other. 13 year old girls tried to appear 16. 16 year old girls attempted to look 21. 50 year old women dressed as if they were 13. Every boy and man wore jeans and cowboy boots. If they chose to wear a shirt, it had no sleeves. If they went without, either their stomach hung halfway to their knees, or they had tatoos covering half their torso. Or both.
So what's the message? You know, I don't have a clue. I am, however, left with a purpose to finish my education to the best of my capactiy. And, of course, it's always fun to see how the other half lives.